Gronk Parties With a Stuffed Goat, Rips His Shirt Off, Catches a Perfect Tide Pod Pass, and 69 Other Wild Moments From the Patriots Parade

Posted by: Gronkowski

The wheels are officially off, ladies and gentleman! 

Gronk promised that he’d party harder than Bill Belichick before the confetti had even settled on the field at Mercedes-Benz Stadium after Super Bowl LIII Sunday night and the big fella wasn’t kidding.

The Patriots hosted their sixth victory parade in Boston on Tuesday morning and by now they’re as clutch at city-wide street celebrations as Brady is at throwing touchdowns. 

To quote Super Bowl LIII MVP Julian Edelman: “Cancel the funeral, cue the duck boats!” Soon after the Pats shutdown the L.A. Rams 13-3, Jules predicted that two million people would come out for the parade - and he wasn’t far off.

Hell, even the sun came out to party with unseasonal 60 degree temperatures in Massachusetts giving Pats fans even more of an excuse to ditch work for the day and cheer the team home. 

Fortunately the duck boats crew are also old pros at this (it’s their 12th parade in Boston since 2002 and second in four months, after all). “We’ve got it down to a science. They know what to do,” Bob Lawler, general manager of Boston Duck Tours told CBS Boston

There’s no better guy to host a party for a couple of million people than Gronk himself, and man, did he surpass even previous parade performances. 

Flanked by fellow party rockers Papa Gronk, big bro Gordie Jnr. and girlfriend Camille, Rob blew the roof off the open-air duck boat with 69 of the most epic moves ever.

Rob began the parade, which kicked off at 11 a.m. ET remember, wearing a Patriots Mexican poncho … yo soy fiesta, anyone? 

Then came some morning refreshment in the form of red wine, which he swigged straight from the bottle - we guess Robbie decided to totally bypass breakfast mimosas and head straight for the classy stuff (it's been reported to be a 2014 Hundred Acre Cabernet Sauvignon worth $500 but somehow the evidence has been lost).

But don't worry, there was beer chugging too.

Then he went into full "Parade Gronk" mode, which according to the NFL Network is the "best Gronk."

Soon both the poncho and Gronk's white shirt were history, and his six pack was on full display ...

... but to the great disappointment to both male and female fans, that was then briefly covered up with a fluorescent police vest (thank you for putting up with this craziness, BPD).

While the G.O.A.T. was on another boat tossing footballs to fans, Gronk made out with a stuffed goat in a Pats jersey (yep, we couldn't make this shit up).

Next came out the Tide Pods, which the future Hall of Fame tight end caught with one hand without even pausing his dance moves.

Yep, he caught multiple cans of beer too -- there's no stopping those giant hands.

Gronk got at least one new female admirer out of it all at least - Brady and Gisele's six-year-old daughter Vivian (sorry darling, he's taken!) When the Brady Boat came up alongside HMS Gronk, Rob called out hello. Her response? "Hi Gronky!"

You'd better keep an eye on that, Tom ...


A post shared by Tom Brady (@tombrady) on

Big Rob ended his parade adventure wearing a Gronk Fitness shirt (great marketing ploy, Gordie) and a Boston Police Department cap (ditto).

To be continued ...


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